“...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
”

— ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭

I’ve been wrestling with what the balance between confidence and humility looks like. I’m probably the most confident now then I’ve ever been in my life - praise God that there really is a 1:1 trade off between youth and confidence.

Here’s the thing, I have played it safe (i.e small) my whole life. It was a means of survival both in my home life and socially. I found early on that I was “too much” of this or “not enough” of that for certain people, and after a while it wears on you because when you’re young you just want to fit in and belong. But as I’ve gotten older - and especially since becoming a mom - I’m done with that, primarily because I want to set the right example for my son and it would break my heart if I unintentionally sent a message that Miles should dim his light in any space, for anybody. What’s more, God calls us to be set apart and let our light shine.

Here’s the thing though, I see a lot of false confidence portrayed both on social media and in real life, especially where I’m from (L.A.), so honestly, I get tripped up sometimes. I will never be the loudest person in the room (not my style). I don’t have pedigree. I don’t come from a family that is “well-connected,” and I don’t have an abundant social or professional network. In my 20s, “status” is what I thought determined or measured one’s confidence. In my 30’s, I’ve realized that was a lie.

In my 20s, I thought that humility meant quieting your voice so that you don’t rock the boat. In my 30s, I’ve realized that was a lie and a scapegoat for fear.

In the twilight of my 30s, here’s the truth I’ve traded for those lies: all of who I am (or not) is rooted in who my Creator says I am - that is where my confidence AND my humility lives.

Confidence is knowing who you are.

Humility is knowing Whose you are.