Ocean Deep
I am not a swimmer and what’s more - I have (am overcoming) a fear of water - so when trials come my way I readily identify with the feeling of being submerged under water without the ability to see my way to the surface in my own strength.
Vic is back in the hospital and when that happens I find myself ocean deep. This place is scary, and even though in many ways it’s become a second home - it’s one we never are or want to be comfortable in. Every time we are here a doctor says something we don’t want to hear - this time it’s “Mr. Dean, your heart function has diminished significantly” - that’s a crashing wave to my spirit.
At the same time, The Lord so clearly has prepared us. Since Miles was born, we’ve had minimal visits here, we got a “break” so we could focus on our son’s early years and I am forever grateful to The Lord for the reprieve. Most importantly though, he has and is changing my heart toward Him - I’m not angry or frustrated with Him anymore about this, it is what it is and He’s going to do what He’s going to do - it is well. If He’s going to trust us to see the victory then we’re going to trust Him to find it in Him.
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters - wherever you would call me. And take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made strong in the presence of my Savior.”
